Elder Activism by Lucky

"The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are. Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy." - Joseph Campbell

An idea came to me this week. It aroused me, with excitement, fear, determination, and wonder. So, I hope I can do an adequate job of exploring and expressing this idea.

My world is changing, as I’m getting older. Things are morphing into new forms. Configurations are occurring to me that I barely understand, and that call to me, to give them a voice. This is one of them, an embryonic awareness, which has come squalling over my horizon, calling for me to soothe it, by considering the change in my reality that it foretells. I am bewildered and beguiled, and I know that if I want to keep open, I’ve got to welcome this guest too.

So here goes.

I’ve been trying to pay attention to what happens to consciousness as we humans age. There are a lot of us now, outliving our ancestors, in greater numbers than ever before. Witnessing, and feeling, this, momentous build-up, has put me in a wondrous state of mind. I think mother-nature is up to something. I can’t shake the feeling that evolution is re-working the human race, putting more emphasis upon the grey fruit of this strange journey — than in the past. So, I’m paying attention, and noticing that old people aren’t all, what they used to be.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that some old folks, I call them elders, seem to see things a lot different than the rest of us. There are many ways this seems true to me, but I want to concentrate on only one now. I don’t know how, or when, this happens, but it seems that some older people develop, what I call, paradoxical awareness. They seem to be more comfortable, and even grow fluent in, bringing the opposites together. An indicator of the onset of this awareness, appears to be the statement, “The more I know, the more I know how little I know,” that comes out of some old folks mouths.

For whatever reason, they have arrived at an experience of the world, that is more complex, mysterious, and unified than many of us have. It isn’t unusual for someone in this state of mind to extol the beauty and miraculousness of the world, and to be equally aware of the horror that mankind has visited upon our planet. For them, the joy of being alive, is deeply rooted in awareness of the world as it is. They seem to exude an equanimity that defies logic.

I noticed this, and sometimes feel myself capable of it. I can feel the world turning, and I have a sense, that despite the deleterious impact of humankind, the miracle of life is here to stay. This thrills and humbles me; it makes me want to spread the vision. I don’t exactly know how to do that, and that’s OK, because I have the sense that evolution, that Life, is already at work changing things. I’m just here to witness and praise the miracle that includes injustice.

I can remember the dark days after my stroke, when I had an undiagnosed brain syndrome, which was slowly stealing my functionality. I was dying. I was angry — so disappointed with Life. The Mystery contained a darkness I didn’t want to know. I didn’t think I could care about a life that cared so little for me, and others who were equally diminished. My face took on, what seemed to be a permanent frown. The abyss ate me. I went down into the darkness, and came out of it barely alive, but aware, that my life had never been mine, and that now, I knew I was Life’s life, and that the darkness is only the light I most fear.

I believe elder activism is being transformed, not by we humans, but by Life. Ageing is bringing about, for some, a change in awareness. This changing awareness is leading to other changes. As I am getting older, I am becoming more aware of my own, and others, hubris. I am less inclined to judge. I am accepting more of my own limitations, and the limitations of others. The world has shown me, how Life moves in strange, unpredictable and inexorable ways.

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking. My activism has been largely based on my reaction to the injustice in the world. My actions followed. I assumed that injustice threatens Life. What I now see is that injustice is in the world as part of the wholeness that is Life. My actions must now incorporate that awareness. It feels right to keep acting, but without my former certainty, and with a more astutely humble reverence for the mysteriousness of Life. My actions will no longer be so much against others. Instead, I think I will be paying closer attention to Life, and dwelling in not knowing instead of certainty. It helps to think that Life is pre-eminent, and knows what it is doing.

Generally, I like ageing. Getting older has its well-documented problems. What it doesn’t have yet, is a well articulated description of its potentials. Along with the losses come gains. The gains aren’t obvious, they haven’t been fully described, but it seems Life is seeing to it, that they are available now, regardless of how well described they are. These same gains are changing the way activism, the love of Life, is being played out. In my view, this is evolution coming through us. It is the Universe doing its activist thing.

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For more pieces like this, go to  http://www.elderssalon2.blogspot.com  (2014 on)

To hear archived versions of our radio program Growing An Elder Culture go to www.elderculture.com

To read excerpts, or otherwise learn, about Embracing Life: Toward A Psychology of Interdependence go to http://www.davidgoff.net

Surrendering Attachment by Lucky

Throughout the years there has been a very special set of guidelines that have informed my work on behalf of consciousness. They have grown me into the person I am. The guidelines, which are called “The Four-fold Way,” are the products of Basque wise woman, Angeles Arrien. Angeles passed on last year, but has left us all with these universal cross-cultural practices. They represent the world’s wisdom. And, they have the capacity to shift consciousness, into subtler, and more poignant, forms of awareness. Each is a deep and compelling practice, which will with time, reveal the underbelly and glory of reality.

The Four-fold way is composed of the easily remembered guidelines  “Show Up,” “Pay Attention,” “Tell the Truth,” and “Surrender Attachment To Outcome.” They represent truly multi-use guidance.

I’m writing about them today, because I want to focus upon the last of them. I am finding special relevance, and huge difficulty, with the last one, surrender attachment to outcome. This guideline has always been the most reliable, and hardest to practice, for me. I think I especially need it now, to take me deeper, as I am ageing, and experiencing so much loss.

I have learned how important it is for me to let go of my expectations, particularly in my relationships, but now I have entered old age, and I am realizing that I have to let go of everything.

I have, with the help of the perspective, provided by this guideline, settled myself down a lot. Change — the impermanence that is everywhere — tends to throw me less often. But, as I face the loss of energy, functionality, loved ones, and even self-assumptions, that comes with age, I find I chafe more, even with this good reminder. Grief, seems to be becoming a regular emotional feature of my life now. Letting go isn’t just a practice, it is a choice-less experience that seems to be ushering me toward the inevitable. There is relief in knowing death is approaching. I’m not too worried about that, I’m anticipating a kind of solving justice, with no more disabilities.

Instead, what I find difficult is, that I am learning as I age, what is really important. And, those things, which have come into focus so recently — pass so quickly. I barely have a chance to take hold before I have to let go. I used to hear Johnny Cash sing, “now that I am old enough to finally live, I’m old enough to die.” The poignancy of that reality is kicking my butt. Letting go, surrendering attachment to outcome, has taken on a new level of meaning, and is delivering me to a new, deeply poignant reality.

I am still practicing surrendering, and I’m getting more and more into the world’s creation myths that feature a creation deity who’s tears are the source of all things. It seems that existing is a grievous thing (I know it is also a miracle) because it inevitably means dying. Creation and destruction, birth and death, surrender and attachment are all paradoxical parts of this great Mystery, and they take my breath away, as they ask me to be human. I sometimes flounder. And that is when that particular guideline helps me the most. When I have occasion to remember, surrender attachment, I recall that other humans came this way, and foundered more wisely on these same paradoxical shoals, alive with grief and wonder, compassionately trying to take it all in, and becoming more broken down and alive along the way.

I haven’t been able to reconcile surrendering attachment with my desire to live yet. I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t know what ripening has in store for me. But, I find that I am ever thankful that Angie found the wherewithal to give this aspect of human experience, such an elegant, and abbreviated wording — now as I stumble across it, I become ever so slightly more humanized.

Ageing seems to mean placing more emphasis upon surrendering. I prefer to think the powers that be are essentializing me, getting me ready, for the final stripping that is simultaneously a birth into a new, and hopefully wiser, form. I am letting go, because I have to, not because I’m good at it, but I am getting softened up, hopefully becoming more malleable, and slowly fading, into I don’t know what. I don’t know exactly why, but I trust being human, existing in this bittersweet world, and waiting for meaning to ripen into greater realization.

The Universe is grinding me down. I am learning to surrender. I don’t know much more than that. I don’t know how to account for it, but I feel grateful. Life has made me up, breathed life into me, and exposed me to grandeur. The trip seems to come with a very exacting price tag, but I think I might have paid it anyway. Surrendering seems to be the price/wonder of this trip.

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For more pieces like this, go to  http://www.elderssalon2.blogspot.com  (2014 on)

To hear archived versions of our radio program Growing An Elder Culture go to www.elderculture.com

To read excerpts, or otherwise learn, about Embracing Life: Toward A Psychology of Interdependence go to http://www.davidgoff.net

Elder Play II by Lucky

There is a readily reliable way for one to differentiate an elder from the merely old person. This is because something happens to elder awareness that is very distinct. An elder is more playful, creative and fun. They are more like a child than a merely old person, yet play more wisely than practically anyone you’ve ever met. Here’s why.

You have heard about how growing old generates a “second childhood.” Well, there is some truth to that perception. There is one big exception to this take though. Elders progress into a new form of innocence, instead of regressing, which is the present popular assumption. The frequently playful attitude that characterizes elder awareness is born from experience, not the loss of awareness. Elder playfulness is a hallmark of a truly mature person.

There is a form of innocent awareness that comes with later life. It isn’t the innocence of childhood, naïve to the basic lay of the land, social arrangement, existential meaning, or relationship context of existence. No, unlike childhood’s innocence, which is born of knowing nothing, elder innocence comes about, because elders have vast experience, and have freed themselves from the clutches of cultural (or other, outside) thinking. Elder innocence is grown into, it comes from the hard-won freedom of having lived through the assumptions of others, and gone beyond them. That is why, an observer of elder development (Dr. Allan Chinen), describes it as “emancipated innocence.” Elder innocence is experienced, and infused, with freedom.

This renewed innocence allows the elder to experience Life as it is. This offers the chance of being enchanted all over again, not in the way of experiencing everything naively, but in experiencing everything again for the first time.  Sleeping Beauty awakes — not as a fairytale —but as an actual experience of being brought to Life.

This new free innocence allows an interactive phenomenon, which is very poorly understood. Elders participate in a form of play that has been around since forever, but has remained poorly grasped. They really like hanging out together. This isn’t just old folks desperately hanging out — to maintain some kind of recognition, dignity and way of passing time. This is actually real fun, the paradoxical playful pursuit of a larger awareness.

In this case, elders are coming together and playfully melding their consciousness, growing a more fluid awareness, and integrating that awareness into a form of consciousness more suitable for the actual complexity of Life. This form of play mixes spontaneity, laughter, reminiscence, perspective, experience, fluidity, humility and wonder. It is also a form of play that fulfills the instincts of the old— it is full of the subtleties, nuances and capabilities — that come with maturity.

It is this quality of play, a special capability of the mature mind, that is the real reason why learning in elder community is so compelling. There is no other social phenomenon that so replicates this unique attribute of elder life. Elders come together to fully integrate the special awareness that is dawning in them. They need each other, not like those who are dependently incomplete, but like those who are so full, they need others to help digest the richness, complexity and wonder of Life. When elders find the way to play together, integration takes place.

And, it is a special form of integration. The future and the past are brought together. The paradoxical relationship between masculine and feminine, between sex and intimacy, between death and life, joy and pain, grief and praise, destruction and creation, all become more evident and palatable. It is the kind of integrative learning that restores humanity’s trust in existence. Life takes on the complex and wondrous fullness that makes being alive such an important opportunity. The Universe ages, and elders add wisdom to the unfolding.

Anyone can experience for them selves, the playfulness that accompanies elder awareness. It is infectious. If one wants to have this perspective present, or simply wants to experience life in the raw, then interacting with an old person, who has been around the block a few times, and sees the benefits of that journey, is the only way to proceed. Many might be proclaimed as elders (by themselves, or others), but genuine play and authentic presence cannot be faked. Relate with old people and the difference becomes obvious.

If you happen to be one of the rapidly ageing people, then I suggest you find some playmates, and try just hanging out with them. Play, which comes naturally, will ensue. So will laughter. And there isn’t anything quite as wonderfully infectious as a baby’s and an old person’s laugh.

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For more pieces like this, go to  http://www.elderssalon2.blogspot.com  (2014 on)

To hear archived versions of our radio program Growing An Elder Culture go to www.elderculture.com

To read excerpts, or otherwise learn, about Embracing Life: Toward A Psychology of Interdependence go to http://www.davidgoff.net